It has been a while since my last adoption update.
So here is the update.
*Warning* this is a slightly negative post.
🔹We are 16 months POST termination of parental rights.
🔹almost everyone I know has adopted their kids already. Several were adopted around 6 months after TPR, some took a little longer. 6-8 months is supposed to be the average time frame.
🔹I am trying very hard to not be angry. I am trying hard to remain patient.
🔹We are embarking our 2nd Christmas since termination and still no adoption, if only you could physically see how tough that is for us. I don’t say this for sympathy, I am just trying to paint a picture for you.
🔹Our adoption case worker does not work full time on our case like she should be. Yes I have proof.
🔹The hospital has a million excuses for not getting birth records to social services. There has been several attempts.
🔹There have been and continue to be numerous other delays.
🔹My positive adoption attitude is now something I have to force.
🔹 I am wearing thin on keeping my mouth shut.
🔹The adoption case worker thinks I do not like her because my frustration is becoming more obvious. And that bothers me too because I strive to inspire and lift people, and that is not as easy with her.
🔹I am aware these things can take time
🔹I am also aware you probably have a friend who has waited for ever to adopt their kids too. But I don’t want to hear about it – Not right now – it doesn’t inspire me. It just makes me more angry for all these kids who are waiting.
🔹No I would NOT adopt the kids and not tell you. It will be a huge production so the adoption party was not awesome. Because it hasn’t happened.
🔹I have tons of people ask me when Adoption was completed. It is in innocents. But it stabs my heart every time. And it happens often.
🔹I’m trying hard to ward off bitterness.
🔹I have prayed tons. I have rebuke Satan. I have thanked our Heavenly Father a thousand times or more. I have remained faithful and hopeful. I handed it over to God because I just couldn’t anymore.
🔹sometimes I feel like rebelling and then I remind myself to be the bigger person and remain professional.
🔹On the inside I want to go into our adoption meetings screaming “FINISH OUR ADOPTION”, at the top of my lungs, unleashing all the emotions from the inside of me. But again. I keep myself professional.
🔹No one is more frustrated than us.
🔹Our case has been in court more times than most cases. The last one was this summer to extend the period between TPR and adoption. The state gives 1 year to complete adoption. And since that didn’t happen, well, court again.
🔹Our foster care case worker and the kids court guardian are just as frustrated as us. They have been our biggest support. Because of them I know I am not being selfish. We have a real issue here. They have also mentioned many times, “You have one of the hardest cases”. This helps me feel validated in my emotions.
🔹I have asked a hundred times, “Do we have a date or a reference to a date yet”
🔹I will likely never look like all this is bothering me, because I am trying so hard to remain happy, positive, full of faith, and trusting in God’s timing. But in reality, yesterday I blared my music while alone in the car – the day before the same thing as I cried on my way to work.
🔹My distance and desire to isolate myself from others has nothing to do with them. It is my way of coping and trying to keep positive. On the inside I am working hard to redirect my thoughts. And I don’t want to spread my negative energy to anyone.
🔹Because of the last one, it is starting to affect relationships with others. This is a silent battle just as much as it is a visible one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And that is what our adoption update looks like at this time.