There is a difference between a child who is in trouble
– And –
A child who is troubled
Both have ways of showing themselves in negative behavior.
One will be easily corrected with consistent time outs and consequences.
The other will not usually benefit from timeouts and consequences, but rather wins and confidence boosting.
Knowing the difference between the two is where many adults fall short when working with children.
Taking a child who is troubled to the side and helping them find some wins and gain self confidence will sometimes help them correct their negative behaviors far faster than anything else.
What works for the child in trouble will not always work for the troubled child.
Before you judge a parent, or a child, reflect and make sure you are clear on where the child’s negative behavior is coming from.
I know what some of you may also be thinking; “Well, the child who is in trouble will also benefit from wins and confidence boosts.”
You are correct.
The aim of this post isn’t meant to be a, “Do this and not that”.
This post is to help bring awareness to the concept that there is a difference between the two. Troubled children are often over looked because the negative behavior is the first thing we generally focus on correcting.
The troubled child receives corrective consequences (and I’m not saying there shouldn’t be consequences). But often times it is just manure for their heap of crap they already deal with.
Removing the manure and showing them positives is how we reach the troubled child. Once we start to remove the manure, they start to correct the negative behaviors on their own, which gives them even more wins, thus boosting their confidence even further.
This then can turn into positive problem solving skills for the troubled child. And that is one of the many gifts you could give the them.
Reflection:
🔹Is there a troubled child you know?
🔹Could you reach out to them and ask them for some wins every time you see them?
What is a win?
A win is simply something positive.
- Even something small like someone smiled at them, or was nice to them is a win.
- Eventually they start searching for wins so they have something to celebrate with you.
- And as they do this, they start to find more things to make wins for the day. Including turning their negative behaviors into positive behaviors.