I never know when inspiration is going to hit me. But when it does, I write.
Today as I am sitting in my bedroom getting ready to take a shower I am visiting via messages with a friend who has been going through some struggles. Similar to things I have dealt with.
We all do that right? Take an hour sometimes to get into the shower because we love visiting with a friend more than the shower itself?
Well, I do anyway. So if you do, you are not alone.
She and I are like two peas in a pod. I just love her. I love that I can share scriptures with her. I love that she can do the same with me. I love that she is one of the sweetest, most real people I know. Because I need to work on being a little less fight, and little more “it’s going to be just fine if I put my arms up to God instead of out to protect myself”. And this friend is a good balance reminding me I need to put my gloves away, and let God have it.
One thing some of you may have had to deal with in your life is abusive family members. Maybe condescending family members. Maybe in-laws who try to bully you. Maybe cousins who use you. Maybe relatives who will go above and beyond to be selfish.
We have all been there to some degree. Families dynamics can be tricky.
But then sometimes a family member or two, or three. Or if you are like me – many; will be someone we have to separate ourselves from. For mental health, physical health, or stability. Maybe the reason was for safety, maybe the reason was for sanity. No mater the reason, we need to take care of ourselves and remain in God’s Word.
We are called to Love/Accept/Forgive others. But we are not called to be everyone’s friend. We are not called to trust everyone.
We can love without liking someone. I may not like the way someone is treating me, but if they were choking, I would give them the him-lick, or even CPR. That is loving them. We would stop them from falling off a cliff. That is love. We do not have to agree with how they treat is and we can separate ourselves from them. We just have to love them.
We can accept someone without tolerating their behavior. They may be saying something awful to us. They may have just told us they don’t like us. We do not have to tolerate their behavior, but we do have to accept that they are not emotional in the same place as we are. We can accept them by loving them anyways. We can accept that someone is a thief without stealing right beside them. We can accept that someone speeds in their car, but not get into the car with them.
I feel acceptance often times gets confused with tolerance. People can live how they choose, and we can accept that, without adopting their ways as our own.
We can forgive others without forgetting the pain. Forgiveness is not the absence of pain. Forgiveness is no longer dwelling or allowing the action to control us. There will always be injustices that hurt and when they come to mind they will bring back the pain. That doesn’t mean we have yet to forgive. It was a painful situation. It is going to hurt. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgetting is not always an option. Forgiveness sometimes takes time. It sometimes takes a lot of God’s help for us to forgive. But once we truly forgive. We are set free from the burden that the enemy set on us in that moment. Forgiveness is moving forward through the pain even if we want to cry. Forgiveness is not wanting to punch the person in the face for hurting you or someone else. Forgiveness is moving beyond the moment that hurt you, and loving and accepting the person where they are.
We can love/Accept/forgive, without allowing that person to hurt us again. We can love/Accept/forgive and still set boundaries. We can love/Accept/forgive and still be family, but not attend each other’s events, friend on Facebook, or go have coffee every week.
Jesus didn’t come to bring peace. He came to bring a sword. His exact words are here in Matthew 10:34-36
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn
“‘a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’”
This is clear that we do not have to keep peace at all costs. We just have to love/accept/forgive. Our enemies will be the enemies of our household. This statement is very clear. But he didn’t say we have to stick beside those people.
In fact in Matthew 19:29 he tells us this:
“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”
If we have to walk away from some of the unhealthy relationships or environments in our lives to pursue where God is taking us, to obey God’s Word, & God’s will, that does not make us failures.
It makes us wise.
We can not move forward if we are letting the enemy win by the way he is influencing a family member, a colleague, a friend, our children, etc…
We can not move forward if the environment we live in is holding us back.
We must “leave houses, or brothers, or sisters, or fathers, or mothers, or spouses, or children, or fields, for His sake so we will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life” from Him!
I do not see in either scripture where he tells us to continue going back, letting others treat us like dirt. I do not see in scripture where it tells us to let the enemy win.
I have never seen a scripture that tells us that we have to trust everyone.
However, I have seen that we can continue to love these people from a distance. We can accept them for who they are, without inheriting their shortcomings. We can forgive without trusting them again.
Isn’t God amazing? He knew it would be tough down here. We are living on the enemies planet. We are not living in a land of peace and harmony. World peace will never happen people. Not until Jesus returns and we kick that enemy to the curb(hell) for good. Remember there is still another battle coming. And until then, Satan has free reign down here. HOWEVER!! We have been given authority over him. He has no victory in our lives. But that doesn’t mean he won’t try. We need to speak to him and remind him of his place while using Jesus’ mighty name. Break those chains, & those burdens. Don’t let the enemy win.
And if these people repent, come back to God’s word and God’s ways – most definitely they would make good friends, family and be trustworthy again.
This isn’t always permanent.
But I myself have walked away and closed the doors behind many relatives, past friends, and environments to follow the Lord and His plans for my life. That made me obedient, not sinful.
The same will be for you. Sometimes it is time to set yourself free, pray for them, love them from a distance, accept that they are not in a place that is where you need to be, and forgive where they have hurt you. And continue moving forward.
-And –
Don’t forget to pray for them. We are also called to pray for our enemies and those who hurt us.
“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” ~ Luke 6:27-28 ~