Ok. Let’s get real. Like really real.
Lately I have been feeling misplaced. Lost. Like I am in this life, but I don’t know why. Like I was taking up space and that was the only thing I was doing. I can sense change. Large change. But I have no clue which direction I should be facing. Every decision seems difficult. One scripture says this, while another says that. Both equally right. One christian says this. One Christian says that. Both equally right. My heart says one thing. My heart says another. Both right.
And I have been straight up struggling.
Even the struggle bus dropped me off, and left me on the side of the road.
This is tough for me. I never saw myself as a 36 year old single mom with 6 kids. I never saw myself divorced. I never saw myself with many certificates for accomplishments and not using them. I never saw myself starting businesses I didn’t keep open.
I never saw myself here.
And “here” has me spinning in circles lately. And I have had a few big disappointments lately. To the point that I actually got mad for a while there and wanted to rebel and just go full on heathen. (I know better of course)
BUT THEN GOD REMINDED ME:
Last year a friend told me she could see me as the caterpillar who was becoming a butterfly. And I found so much comfort in that. Because God is just like that. He transforms us. Takes us from one place to the next. Puts us under pressure. Roughs up our edges to smooth us out. And it never feels good.
He plants us so we can grow.
The darkness is lonely. I have always been content with entertaining myself and being alone. But I miss companionship. Someone to talk to at the end of every day. I spent so much of my life as a “wife” that this period of singleness is sometimes not my favorite, while the next is peaceful.
Then today, I came across a friends post with this picture of a caterpillar/butterfly, and it was the exact one I saved last year to remind myself that when we feel cramped, squished, in the dark, unaware of why we can’t see where to go, what is going on, or what we should be doing, to just BREATHE/RELAX and trust. Because God is roughing out the edges and doing a transformation work right now.
I do not like it, BUT… My God has a plan for me. And even though I feel lost, alone, and displaced, MY GOD has a place, and an amazing plan for me.
Today I want to encourage you to stop, pray and remind yourself that you too, with God, are becoming an amazing butterfly. If you can relate to any part of this post, hold on tight to God, because He is about to bring you through to something so amazing you will even be surprised.
How do I know?
Because God said so!!
••••••
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
~ Jeremiah 29:11 ~
“Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.”
~ Proverbs 23:18 ESV ~
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.”
~ Isaiah 55:8 ESV ~
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
~ Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV ~
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
~ Romans 8:28 ESV ~
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
~ Proverbs 16:9 ESV ~
“And I will provide a homeland for my people Israel, planting them in a secure place where they will never be disturbed. Evil nations won’t oppress them as they’ve done in the past,”
~ 2 Samuel 7:10 NLT ~
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
~ Philippians 1:6 ESV ~
