๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฒ. โฃโฃ
๐ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ช๐ง๐ต ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด, ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐บ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง. โฃ
โฃโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโขโข
๐
๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ. ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด. โฃโฃ
I run our churchโs sound booth on Wednesdayโs so we can broadcast live all over the world. I thought about finding someone to take over tonight because I was mentally not present tonight. โฃ
โฃ
I share the good with you all the time. And I never share the down times unless I have something to teach, or a encouraging ending that will help. โฃ
Today was one of those down days. I cried off and on most of the day. I was feeling really let down and just needed some hope restored to me. โฃ
โฃ
๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ซ ๐ญ๐จ๐จ. Some of those lies he likes to hit me hard with, โ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ณ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฅ๐ด. ๐๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต!โ Or another one of his favorites he tries to tell me, โ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ ๐ง๐ข๐ช๐ต๐ฉ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ. ๐๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ญ๐บโ โฃ
โฃ
No joke guys! Satan is a LIAR! But that does not make the down days easier. I do however beat the crude out of him with Godโs word. Even if itโs with tears in my eyes. โฃ
โฃ
Most of the time people assume that my down days are because I am newer to the divorced world. ๐ช๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐ฅ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ง๐จ ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐๐ ๐๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ณ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ข๐บ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐ช๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต. I have spent a few years already grieving the end of that marriage and have already overcome and healed from that aspect long before those papers were ever signed. ๐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐จ๐จ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด๐ญ๐บ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ต๐บ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ. I love being a wife. Losing that was very hard.
Donโt get me wrong. โฃ
There have been some dark days for me this year, but many of them are not because Iโm divorced but because I am lonely. โฃ
I spent the last two nights home alone with not a single kid home. My dogs have been barking in the middle of the night freaking me out which is abnormal behavior for them. And not just light barking. Hudson has been running down to the door and into the garage barking his head off like someone is coming into the house. โฃ
This single mom thing is not my favorite. I am however not ready for anything serious, but I am ready for building relationships and seeing where things go from there. โฃ
On top of that, I have so many things to do it gets overwhelming sometimes. All I can do is cry. โฃ
โฃ
๐ช๐๐ฅ๐ฅ, ๐ญ๐จ๐๐๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฌ. I was freaked out the last two nights, then I had some disappointment happen this morning. ๐ ๐ง๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฉ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐. โฃ
โฃAfter a long day, I knew church was were I needed to be. โฃitโs always exactly where we need to be. Even if service is of no specific help.
As I was talking with a friend service started and I had to end the conversation so I could focus on the screens. She wrote this down and handed it to me. โฃ
โฃ
๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ถ๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ! Hereโs the thing. ๐ ๐๐จ๐งโ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐ญ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฒ.
I want someone who has also been through โhellโ and came out better. I want the guy with his own testimony. Because the guy who has never been through stuff will never fully understand the power behind the testimonies of where I have come from. I have seen some deep stuff and can relate with many people. But what I need is a guy who can relate with mine and see Godโs beauty in it. So โOURโ testimonies can continually build each other up. ๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ก๐๐ฌ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ฎ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐จ๐ง ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐. Someone who understands pain and has seen beauty come after the ashes of their past. I donโt want someone who has no understanding of this and I donโt want someone who has no desire to be better. I want the guy who is actively working on making himself better for himself and for those who follow after him. A leader! โฃ
๐ ๐๐จ๐งโ๐ญ ๐ง๐๐๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐๐ง. โฃ
But one thing I do want is a man who puts God first. Who uses his Bible. Who reads it. Who actively tries to be who God says he can be. Who tries their best to be a doer of the Word. ๐๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ซ and I know he will be obedient to the Spirit. ๐๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ญ๐จ๐จ. ๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ด ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ. โฃ
Now there are many other things I seek (loves me and my kids -yadda yadda)ย – but Iโm trying to keep this short. โฃ
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๐๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ซ๐ซ๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ค๐๐๐ฉ ๐ซ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ญ๐๐ค๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ ๐จ๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ซ๐ซ๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ซ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐.
โฃ
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ด ๐จ๐ช๐ณ๐ญ! ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ.
