I am someone who is passionate about growth. I strive to always be growing, challenge myself and be better next year, than who I am today.
– BUT –
I get it, growth is painful. And it has been a tough couple of years for growth for me. It’s been like – tough tough tough –
Growth requires stretching and admitting we messed up, made mistakes, and we learn things about ourselves we may not like when we have that revelation.
And sometimes I wanna quit, even though I refuse to give up, I admit, sometimes I want to.
These last few years have been some of my toughest growing years.
And I have found myself in a place where I can no longer turn away from area of growth I would like nothing more than to walk away from.
I can’t block, delete, remove this area this time, like in the past. I have asked God multiple times what I’m supposed to be learning in this area because I always seem to find myself right smack dab back in the middle of it. I must admit, I began to think something might be wrong with me, and that my actions sown were the results of the reeping that seemed to always come back around.
I could hear God gently telling me I was being conditioned and it was for growth.
But the second I had enough, I removed the person, place, thing, or myself from that place, and closed the door forever.
But God has placed me in such a way that this time I am facing this giant with no way out EXCEPT to trust HIM, and allow HIM to do it. Now granted – I COULD do what I always have done. What I mean by “no way out” is this time, I choose not to repeat my past way of handling it for the greater good of the situation. God won’t ever violate our free will. I still have my choices.
But this time, the consequences would not bring peace.
And this time He has been very loud, and has made it very clear, I’m here to see what HE CAN DO, and to allow Him to equipt, change, and grow me up!
Sometimes our growth is in areas where we haven’t done anything to deserve what we are going through, but we must grow in it so we can help others through it later on, and so it can no longer negatively affect us. We come out stronger, wiser and we won’t be so easily offended by the circumstances.
And it is not fun. You guys! I have wanted to throw in the towel and dozen or more times. We are probably facing 3 dozen by now.
But when I pray, He is FIRM – I am to stay planted and TRUST HIM!
How about you? I’m not the only one who is “back in Bethel”. Are you finding yourself here?
I know it might SUCK right now.
But when we get to the otherside – it’s going to be so awesome you will be grateful you didn’t turn away. Ask God to take over and give Him the reigns in that area of growth.
That is the hope God has for you today!
Keep going. Don’t quit. You got this. You are not alone.
Stay strong. You will get through this!!