“Real”
Real is the opposite of Fake.
Real means the other people were never really there and are fake. Fake devalues and signifies “imagination or no significance”
Instead use:
Birth parent
Birth family
Adoptive parent/Family
he word “Step” should be erased unless explaining to outsiders the placement of a family tree. Step just means “We ‘Stepped’ Up“. It should never mean “I/You have to ‘step’ aside”
“Born Addicted”
You were born “Addicted” to drugs.
No – they were born “Dependent”.
Addiction is not dependence.
A newborn can not be addicted. The parent is addicted, the child is dependent (I used to be guilty of this mix up too).
This also sets the subconscious up to believe that they have had “addictions” and thus someday invites their grown subconscious to believe that they are already addicts, so it’s pointless to avoid future addictions.
A Google search will help you clarify the two words.
“New Person/Kid”
New means something was old or expired and had to be replaced.
“I’m your new parent/kid” shares that the other was not good enough.
Instead, “Explain I am your ‘Foster’, ‘adoptive’, ‘step’, person” Then drop step, but you can keep ‘foster’, or ‘adoptive’, depending on the child’s comfort. Some kids want to just say, “mom” or “dad”. Some just want to use your name. Move forward from there.
There are no “new” or “old” people in a child’s life. There are just transitions. Their other people are still their people, even if you are technically new to them. You are not new, because you are not replacing something old. You are “stepping in” to help out.
Also, protect your kids from others saying these things. Most people have well intentions. They grew up hearing it said this way. Or that is how society has revealed it should be said. Or they just were nervous and didn’t know. Don’t be rude to them. Just help be the teaching tool to let them grow and know those words can bring harm. Share the correct verbiage and help them understand if needed.
What are some other words you feel should not be said?